Care to hear a dirty joke?

I can't walk, I have ahard time breathing, and i feel sweaty. I'm sick, I don't even have enough energy to pick the phone and call someone. Ok, simple, let me just go up to my mom, she'll make me that tea i always refuse to drink, and get comforted in my dad's lap as he makes dirty jokes to get mom mad. let me get a warm blanket and go lie on his lap, I could use a dirty joke to laugh about right now, while mom gets angry about making the tea i never drank, and how i won't feel better if i dont listen to her. Let me go whine to our maids about how my stomach hurts right now, maybe I'll get a free hug and a lecture about karma giving me their revenge for giving them a hard time every morning and not waking up for school. Let me call one of my sister in laws to use and abuse them into taking me out because im "in pain". Let me go eat lots and lots of chips and call one of my best friends because nothing is better then food and a good laugh to make you forget. Let me go to Sara's house, She'll make me feel perfect again in seconds; It's just a ten minute drive.
Wait, Let me remember that I'm not in Kuwait anymore. Let me realize that beyond my bedroom door is another door to another dorm room, not the living room my parents are always sitting in. Let me call Kuwait anyways and see whos around. Nope,i can't, its 3 am back home, a school night too. What should i do? I cant get up to make my own tea cuz I'm too tired, I don't feel like calling anyone to ask for help. I'll just stay here. Helpless, wait for the pain to go away by itself. My parents aren't here to take care of me anymore, I'm all alone. My room has everything I need, but is it really everything i need? Whats the point of having everything there when I'm in too much pain to get up and take it for myself. I missed having things brought up to me by an intercom call. I miss dad's dirty jokes, and mom's anger, I miss the un-international phone calls to my friends and family, and how i could talk for hours without needing to worry about any phone bills since calls were free (or at least I wasn't the one paying). The chapati, the cruises around the streets with my friends that always ended up with crazy fun, chocolate bar, the annoying guys that won't stop being annoying, I miss it all. I'm half way across the world starting this new life, having nothing to do with the old one, having nothing resembled like the old one, life here is completely different than back home. Its much harder that's for sure. And daddy's not here to pay my bill, and mommy's not here to buy me that shirt, and sister in-law's not here to take me out. The only thing I have here is God, Myself, and my degree.
I rarely had any home-sickness moments as sever as that one. I miss home, but not enough to come back, or to spend a minute crying over. It was just something i missed, and something i could reach out to with a click of a mouse or a Black Berry, and I'd have Kuwait in my hand. Worst heart-breaking homesickness moment for me wasn't about not being able to hang out with my friends anymore, or go to chocolate bar every other weekend, or spend time with family, It was simply knowing that no one will be here to take care of me if i ever needed help. Not so much because no body cared, but simply because no one is around,everyone is too busy, and that to me sincerely made me feel like shit. I WANT MY TEA.

Four Alarms.

I litterly lost my breath, but i didn't care, i kept running like a maniac on the main street. FOUR ALARMS. How can FOUR ALARMS fail to wake me up? HOW? I was grateful for falling asleep last night without changing into my pj's, and placing a pencil right next to the door so i don't forget. It's like i knew I'd need everything in front of me the morning after otherwise I'll just show up late AND without a pencil. I saw a car pass by, all i wanted to do was jump on the back and make it drive me to where i wanted to go. I didn't have a jacket on, it was 15 c, but i was almost sweating from the running, 10 minutes has passed, and I’m 20 minutes late. I'm never gonna make it. But i studied so hard. I stopped. The air that went into my lungs HURT, the air was cold, and i hate running. I look at the building, It's right there, c'mon! 3 minutes of running and you'll be there. I push open the door. I breathe hard, panicked, scared, and tired. I definitely corrupted the quiet environment i was in. I walk down the stairs and look at the professor, he nods, and I sit down. He hands in my test and says "we're on example number three" and all of a sudden, all those feelings of being panicked and afraid of missing the whole exam were gone: they were just on example three. Maybe he will repeat the first three examples for me if he's nice? He is nice. I don't know, I couldn't think anymore, i just started flipping through the pages so i could catch up. after all the listening examples were over, I start with the multiple choice. What was Tchaikovsky famous for? Well, he was gay, but the answer on the test was that he was the all-time best Russian composer. What were some characteristics of the Romantic Period? Name Verdi's Operas. The exam was easier than i had expected, maybe bcuz all that running cleared my mind? Maybe i studied better, maybe it was that lucky red nail polish i had on. But for whichever reason. I made it. I was little late, but i made it. Now for my new concern: what about the first three examples?

"I'll make a deal with you, since i can't repeat them now, We'll wait til everyone else leaves, and then I’ll repeat them for you, but ONLY IF everyone leaves before the test is over, because i have another class after this" OK! I FEEL GREAT! Now all i have to do is just wait for everyone to leave. Piece of cake, right? I've never wanted people to leave a room as much as i did today..

12:00 pm: 10 students left
12:10 pm: FIVE minutes left til the exam ends, and there are still five in this room.

12:14 pm: should i just give him my test? Whats the use of waiting? COME ON, GET YOUR BUTT OFF AND LEAVE!!! There was one more person left in the room.

12:15 pm: "heres what we'll do, since we're just waiting for one person, after he's done with his test we'll do the listening really quick, ok?' I LOVE YOU, IF YOU WERENT UGLY AND MARRIED,I WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY NAUGHTY.


"I just don't understand how four alarms don't wake me up" The professor laughed.
"Well careful! The final is 8 am!" ....great...
"I'm from Kuwait, so this is all new to me, i didn’t even know that classical music existed, and now that im here everything is converted into English and it’s really hard i have a hard time understanding most of the terms and definitions and........" the same speech I've memorized and give to my professors in attempt for them to feel sorry for me and give me a better grade
"oh! really? wow,i never would have guessed, your English sounds better than mine, and you look very American......" is the answer I've memorized due to hearing it so many times from them EVERYTIME i play the “international” card on them,it just never works!


So, lesson learnt? What are we looking for exactly here? A simple concept to understand, but very hard to accomplish: Don't think too much about days, things that need to be done, and people. Because when you know what you want, give your self the sense of calm, you really need it, and things will work out for you without even knowing it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

9bayan liKuwait, tara ma9a5toha.

"I hate boys"
"No you dont :)"
"yes i do"
(5 minutes ater)
"HE'S SO CUTE,i love boys"... story of every straight girl's life..


WE HAVE ANOTHER ONE! Boys,boys, boys, when will you learn? Being the stalker maniac after the girl u want is NOT a turn on, leaving us alone is ;)
If i were still in elementary scgool, i would have loved this, its nice to be wanted, but being wanted is something, and going coo-coo in the head with wanting is another. There really are better ways to pick up a chick, a simple "youre really pretty" REALLY would have been enough to flatter me (not enough to make us groove the night away,just flatter me ;p) girls dont need long,long paragraphs of lies and made of stories of dreams and love, at least i don't, and to all the girls that like it: GROW UP,hes either lying to you,or really gay.

Isn't this getting way too old? after being in the states for more than three months now,i still get these random facebook messeges from guys that i truly believe copy paste this to EVERY random girl they find and send it to her due to their mental illness. Hes not sick you say? maybe he really does like me? Maybe hes just misunderstood? Well,i would like to give him that chance, Maybe he DOES mean well and im just being mean and unfair about it,right?

On behalf of every Kuwaiti girl, I get msgs from guys saying things like "I used to see you when i picked my sister up from school" (okkeeeeeyy,freak!) "ana shyyfch mn gbl!" "yal 7ilwa, fi majal" (i kind of made this one up) "can i be your friend?".. CAN YOU GET LOST? we don't want losers looking for friends on facebok,GO MAKE SOME REAL FRIENDS.

I'm writing about this because as much as i enjoy it, sometimes its just too much, i will demonstrate one of many love notes a typical Kuwaiti girl would get.. the actual message is written down, it includes my own comments in between parenthesis (yes,i had to ;p)::

Hmm ma adri sheno agolech (3ayal laish dazle msg?) bs ana wa7ed wayed a9adfech (Kuwait is 87,000 km alltogether, so ur bound to see me alot; if not always ,I used to LIVE in the Avenues, o be3dain ishal ethraa6? I left Kuwait four months ago,mn weenklk ismi? and how did u recognize me in my new hair?? and why am i asking a liar so many questions i dont even need answers to?) o bdon la a7es sheft nafsi afker feech :S (wow,,really,WOW)

7ta gbel 2 months 7lamt feech (really? im supposed to believe that? REALLY? Salwa Lim6eeri wana madri) o kentay so beauty ;$ (BEAUTIFUL. If u dont know how to use english words properly la tetfelsef wayid.)

7alawt (7alawt ;p?) eni akthar men mara at3raf 3lech (8zdk lmn knt wayid et9aadefni wet7awl itr8mni chnk i3geedi?) bs kil mara et9akren el-bab eb wayhii (LOL MITA?) o a2yes b3den agol la2nha 5osh bent ra7 a7awel mara thanya (plz bsk mu7awalaat ..ur a loser live with it)

m3na el-kuwait matrosa bnat (then why r u here? im not even IN kuwait yal ahbal!) o ay mkan etro7ela telgen bnat (o ijnoos nfsk) bs ana "sharech" (5air inshala)

adri ena kil shy 9ar eb ser3a (wait, shnu ili 9aar biltheb6 3shan e9eer ibsr3a,did i miss something?) ;O (shfeek me5tr3 ;p?) bs hatha kil eli 3ndi (latchetheb! hatha kl ili 3ndk and theres a WHOLE paragraph right under that sentence!!!!)

Yemken etkonen sam3a hel klam men gbel (ee walla 7aas feeni li9bey) bs walah norah (haa? mnu norah? a5aaf im6rsh hal msg for the wrong person? kla it9aadfni o 7lmaan feni o 7aaltk 7ala and u can't even say or spell my name right?!) hatha kil eli ebgalbi (chathab o alf chathab u dont even know my name)
yemken ma et5asren etha 6nashtay feni (89bn 3leeek ma a5sr, o akeed be6enesh.) bs 9adgeni (mabi a9dgk,shlon?) mara7 tet7sfen etha 36eteni mjal [mara7 at7sf? shyyf shklk awl ;p (he looks really ugly,so basically liar,ugly,o ethraa6 zyyd,tipical Kuwaiti fathi moves)] o t3rfna 3la b3th (LAISH? I need one reason why i should? are u so important ili lazm a3erfk? are u so importnat ili lazm et3erfni?) ;O (SHFEEK ME5TR3???)
etha ma kent 7bebech (ooooh il a5 gaam efekr lil mada il ba3eed ;p) aw 9qed (a7la bedliya) 7agech aw o5och ra7 akon sha59 ysa3dech (beet zakat?) etha ma lgetay a7ad aw etha (7imdila rrefeejati ikefoon wewefoon) kentay tben tashken (ashtekey mnk 8ezdk ;p?) o kil el-nas mash'3olen eb 7yatihoom (ila inta il faathi) ra7 akon ana mawjood .....
ma adri entay shrayech ? (ana rayey tethlef?) o 63b a5er shy ma negdar ensawi shy ela eb mwafqat el-7ilwen ;* ;P~ (huh?)
Bbye (ro7a bala rada inshala) ""

Girls, girls, girls, when will you learn? The only reason more and more guys do this everyday, is because 9eedaat like you fall for it, DONT FALL FOR IT. Your'e better than that, tell your friends, sisters, mothers not to listen, believe, or giv the benifit of doubt of any guy that sends crap like this towards ur way. Theyre all the same, and all after one thing, cuz at the end of the day, he's a guy, and youre the girl everyones after.
Be smart about who you choose, Remember: Youre the rule, not the exception, ur the prioraty,NOT the option!

To every person whom I loved and mistreated me: I HATE YOU.

Why are u doing this? God damn it ur driving me crazy.. STOP. I dont want you to look at me. No wait,come back! I didnt mean it like that.. Wait, no never mind i did, i hope u never comeback. Dont look at me, just go away i dont wanna talk to you anymore.. I miss you. Why are u treating me like this? why am i SO hung up on someone that treats me like dirt,cleans their hands and walks away un-charged or un-called for. why am i such an ignorant little girl that cant understand the meaning of a person JUST NOT THAT INTO ME (or you). If you wanted me, u'd be here RIGHT NOW,trying to make me feel better for what YOUVE done, If you really liked me, you would have never even decided to be an ass, If you REALLY wanted to make this work, youd treat me the way i treated you: full kindness and respect. If you really looked forward to see me, you wouldnt IGNORE my msgs and NOT ANSWER my phone calls. I will NOT put excuses for you, I will NOT let it go. If youre reading this and your doing this to someone else,PLEASE stop, if you dont like us, just tell us, don't run around like a little girl, peoples' feelings are NOT a game. Thats right, walk away cuz i dont even wanna look at your face, you didnt deserve mine anyway, You didnt deserve my time, my love, or my attention. Run along now, to someone who would love being treated like shit from you, just make sure im not on that list.
You walked out on me when i needed you, you ASKED me to leave when i wanted you to stay, and when i said yes, it was like your God sent gift, exactly what you wanted to hear, after all you had to go out and didnt want to waste any time with me,right?
I miss you, but i'm just so angry right now that i miss you more, i want you here, so i can slap the heck out of, i want you here, so i cant show you how make me feel, i want you here, so you can see how much you hurt me. Yes, i want you to feel guilty. Am i just that person you go to to have a splendid time? The person you crave when everyone else is asleep? screw you. I hope you wake up from a bad nightmare that comes true the day after. I AM SO ANGRY AT YOU. YES, WE ARE ALL ANGRY AT YOU. People like you make people like us feel bad about ourselves, people like you question the worthlessness of people like us and make us doubt ourselves*what did i do wrong? is it me?*. People like YOU make us feel like we deserve to be treated like that, its ok to be degraded because you seem to be the only one there. You seem to be the only one around. Calling everyone whos anything like me: Screw that person. Any person that doesn't treat you the way you KNOW you should be treat is not a person that should be in your life.
Yeah, i miss you, i think about you everyday, You were my friend, before you turned into this monster, before you caused all this pain, under it all i know that sweet kind person is in there, above it all: I love you. That; unfortunately, will never change. Right now you feel dead to me, so far away, and i still love you. Distance doesn't matter, you could be living upstairs, or millions of miles away, i still love you, i hate that i love you, make it go away. Just leave, Go break another heart, stop picking up mine and breaking it every second i try to catch a breath. you could have been something great, we could have been something big, fate took over and here i am. without you, without any of you. All of you are gone, I see new people around me. I won't say i don't like it, because im begining to forget your faces, begining to remember how it felt to be demanding on how a person should be treated. But now i look at all those new people, they're no different than me, we'll share the same stories, we all go through the same things everyday. we laugh it off, support each other, but sometimes even that isn't enough. I need you, wherever you are. No wait, i just said that i didn't, so you can walk back now.. but maybe now that youre here.. NO! why can't i make up my mind? why can't we forget you? Youre my haunting spirit that sleeps in the corner of my bed, Your my dream at night, Your the words to the music i sing, Your the thoughts in my heart, youre the crazy of the mentally ill, youre the hell of all of us who want you to stop. Just stop.

If you were like me and met the wrong friends you probably know exactly how i feel. good news: Most of us feel the same way! yay!
Bad news: It doesn't get any better, buckle up! That's not the first friend you lose, and certainty won't be the last. sad.
But as Nickelback says "Theres somebody else that feels the same way, There's gotta somebody for me out there"

I was a past Insomniac, what were you?

Ever noticed the "if" in the middle of that word? Yeah, guess life is just one those things, those thigs meaning where everyone is someone elses's freak show, where we think its so stupid to create science-fiction when our lives are already crazy as it is, agreed?
Hand me the pancacks, and can you pass my dignity while youre at it,please? Should i cross that tunnel? was i supposed to burn that bridge? I dont want tomorrow to come, what's gonna happen if work doesn't get done? How will my wife react after i tell her? Maybe i need to stop thinking so much and just go to sleep.. It's 3 am, and something's wrong, diognose me with Insomnia. No way! There's nothing wrong with me. No wait, crazy people dont know they're crazy, so maybe there is something wrong with me, but knowing im crazy will probebly really make me go crazy, if not crazier.

So whats insomnia like? And why do so many of us not sleep because of it? Too excited about life perhaps? Well, life is after all what we do when we're not sleeping, but bodily functions will not work without sleep, neither will the surroundings around you.
Insomnia, If not treated, can really turn your life to sever madness. People seem to live with it, some people have turned it into their lifestyle, but is it really worth turning something so body-wreckening into your daily habit? If your reading this and your insomniac, be ready to take the first step into going from sleepless to sleep too much!

Now dont get me confused with Sleep deprivation and insomnia, cuz if ur sleep deprived, then that just means your some workaholic that doesnt have enough time to be asleep cine your out clubbing or getting a divorce. But Insomnia is whether you stay one minute or 5 hours in bed and you still won't be able to sleep.

Medicine is important for health, so is excersize, oragne juice, and SLEEP! These are the human nessecities of life, if ur not sleeping 7-9 hours on a 24 hour period (per day) then something's wrong. If you're feeling drousy during the day (yes, even if it was because you were diong some boring activity) something's wrong. If you think you dont need sleep simply becaus eyou have better things to think about and do, then there is defintly SOMETHING WRONG.

I look at my fingers, then my hands, and begin to wander around the rest of my room. I look at my lamp, and stare at the cieling, give another glimps at the clock, then play with my phone a little. This is getting out of control, If this keeps happening EVERY night im gonna be physically dead by the end of next week. Despretely opening my laptop, I write a new post, chat with a few friends, facebook again for the millionith time, and end up closing my laptop with a failed etempt of trying to get tired by staring a the screen for too long, if anything my eyes are even more awake then they were..
Ok, so I'm not doing well in school, I feel very alone for living in a single room despite all the people i know and friends being around me. I have a hard time understanding what alot of Americans say either because they have a different slang or because they use terms within their culture that im not aware of. I just feel lost, this university is huge, I fell like nobody knows me when i walk, or bothers to even look, the girls here out number the guys,and probebly outnumber me when it comes to looks. uughhh! WHY am i so worried? I already have friends and i already look good, this shouldnt even be an issue, this whole staying-up-thing is making me go crazy, i shouldnt even be thinking about thease tiny things that wouldnt make sence to any sane person during the day-time. Did i gain so much weight? maybe thats why my jeans feel tight.. maybe their just tight cuz i washed them... Maybe i ishould study,well,I can't. My brain is knocked out at the moment. So: I cant do any work because my mind is out of order, i cant get this room cleaned up becaus eim too tired to get up, but i cant go to sleep because even though im exhuasted,it's just not enough to make me tired and fall asleep.
So maybe i was a little (alot) insomniac when i first came here, i wasn't sure if it was because of this tiny room,or the tinier bed, or the school that felt too hard to go to, or the parents that were leaving me in a couple of days, of the people that were just too clique-y, or the tests that seemed like they were in a different langueges, or the freezing cold wether that made me hate my life and miss the heat back home and ruined my day, or maybe all of this together.

So you know obviously know that over-thinking and over analysing and over worrying are main causes of this, SOMETHING'S WRONG. But insomnia is not adisease, and no test can diagnose you with it, but you'll know you have it if your getting little no no sleep. Cure? you dont need MY post to tell you you need to take a deep breathe, put some Lil Wayne and Drake music,and chillax ;)
Just remember to restore your life with a good night sleep before you leave the house the morning after, if u still cant sleep, send me an e-mail, nothing NourHaha couldnt cure :)